A New Guy?
by Dryhavich
Summary: A Russian scientist visits the DWMA for reasons unknown to all but the highest ranking in the DWMA... what will transpire?  Rated T for now, mainly for language; rating might go up as the story progresses   Note: this story includes an OC
1. Chapter 1 The desert is too hot

DISCLAIMER: I do not, under any circumstances, own Soul Eater.

(This is my first fanfiction :p )

The sun shone brightly upon the Nevada desert, becoming once again symmetrical with the clouds and causing Death the Kid to nearly faint from joy. But, enough of that- a man was driving on the road near Death City, and got out of the car to apply some sunscreen to ward off the heavy UVA and UVB radiation.

"Damn, this desert is sooo scorching,…" the man said, "why can't it be nice and mild like a Russian summer?"

The strange man sighed, and he got back in his car. His name was Radoslav ("Radko", for short), a Russian aerospace engineer who heard about the DWMA. He was a rather tall man in his mid-twenties, of hearty build, with piercing green eyes, dark blond hair, and a handlebar mustache. One look at him, and you could tell that he was definitely out of the ordinary.

Soon, Radko stepped yet again out of his car, but he had reached his destination. He stepped within the confines of Death City, and took a gander at all of the different people.

"Wow," he thought to himself, "this is quite a conglomeration of people. They also look to be of varying origin, as well! Hopefully, someone will strike up a conversation."

Radko then saw a few teenagers running in a certain direction, as if escaping from something. He merely shrugged off the sight and went about with his business. However, a small, dark cat with a witch's hat suddenly walked in front of him and transformed into a huma… wait… transformed into a human?

"Nyaah, who are you, handsome mister?" Blair said seductively.

Radko just stood there, stupefied at this scantily dressed buxom woman who seemed to have appeared for no reason whatsoever. Blushing slightly, he introduced himself to Blair, who then attempted to ungracefully glomp him, but he deftly dodged this action and went about his way (_yet again…)_.

But _then…_

A slim, grey-haired figure clad in a lab coat, with a huge steel screw embedded in his head, walked up to Radko. This eccentrically dressed man eerily cracked a smile and started to speak…

"_Oh my, looks like I ran into a new one… well, it's like I always say- they're always best when dissected __**freshly...**__"_

The maddened and insane man lunged himself at Radko, who was now really weirded out by these strange happenings.

"_Akh, kakaya pizdet bol…"* _Radko said as he prepared for one hell of a day.

_**Will Radko achieve what he needs to do? What exactly is someone like Radko doing in Death City, anyways? Why is Stein suddently so fanatically insane? How can Neodymium-Iron-Boron be used as a weapon? Only time will tell…**_

**Ah well… that's the start of this story! I plan to continue this when I have time to do so again. Until next time, see ya!**

*"Akh, kakaya pizdet bol" roughly means "Oh, what a fucking pain"


	2. Chapter 2: Memories

Startled by this insane man's sudden action, Radko didn't even lift a finger to block Stein's powerful Soul Force, which impacted on his chest. Nevertheless, Radko was merely pushed back a few feet, and didn't even falter. In his normal state, Stein would have been awestruck at this, yet the madness had overcome him too much for him to care.

"So that's how ya want to play, eh? That fucking steel screw must be messing with your head. If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get, buddy." Radko stated.

Using his Systema*, Radko knocked Stein off balance and kicked a pressure point in his leg. Stein then pulled out a scalpel and attempted to plunge it into Radko, but he pulled out one of his own tools- a large neodymium magnet. The absurdly powerful magnet yanked the scalpel from Stein's loose grip, and Radko then pulled out a smaller neodymium magnet and threw it at Stein. Now, the only direction this magnet could go was wherever Stein's steel screw was pointing, and it found its target. The magnet hit the screw with such force that it shattered, transferring a wave of force into Stein's head. Stein crumpled to the ground, largely unconscious.

"Whew, good thing that's over." Radko sighed.

A tall, red-haired man then came out of a cabaret club close to where Radko was standing, and stared blankly at what had just transpired. Radko recognized this man as Spirit Albarn, an American whom he had known for quite a while.

"Radoslav… it's been a while… are you here to-" Spirit stated, but was cut off by Radko saying,

"Well, yeah, but there's something more important to discuss here. Who is this man who went insane and attacked me?"

"Don't ya recognize a person who you mentored? He's Stein, remember?"

Radko had to think back about ten years, when he was assisting in the teaching of theoretical calculus in a college.

*_Flashback*_

_-Dr. Radoslav B. Maslov's Office-_

A somewhat younger Stein was sitting with his hands folded and head down near Radko, who surprisingly looked exactly the same. Radko had heard about a recent incident where one of his students went missing and was found dismembered in a ditch.

Radko started by saying, "Stein, you're currently the most talented person who I've mentored thus far, but I've heard about your tendencies to, well, want to _dissect _organisms freely. I know you're smart, and I don't want someone of your intellect to end up in the state pen for something like dissecting a human when they are unawares. Please, explain to me fully about this so I can understand you better."

"Puzzling, isn't it? I always loved to break things down into their components ever since I was a young boy. In this case, however, I am fascinated with the inner anatomy of humans, not with machines, as you are. Can't I have a little freedom to do what I want?" Stein answered.

Radko furrowed his brow slightly, looking sternly at Stein for a minute.

"If doing what you want involves taking apart a live human being without their consent, then I do not approve. People could get injured from your tendencies, and that wouldn't be good at all."

"Such a harsh description… why would I ever want to hurt people? I assure you, my studies are for the good of mankind."

Again, Radko stared at the seemingly nonchalant Stein with a serious look, and sighed.

"As your mentor and a man of science, I guess I can only bring myself to trust you. Do something good with that brilliant mind and advanced degree in medical science of yours. "

Stein cracked a small grin and said, "Now that we have talked about _this_, I don't think that I have anything to ask about. Thank you, Dr. Maslov, and if you'll excuse me, I've got a project to work on."

Stein stood up from the large chair in Radko's office, and left the room without another word.

Radko sat in his antique chair, thinking quietly to himself for a while- "_Can I really trust my student not to harm people after I suspected that he dismembered someone? A mind as brilliant as his doesn't deserve to be locked away somewhere, but a medical scientist shouldn't use their knowledge to commit heinous crimes… ah well, I can only hope that he stays out of further trouble."_

_*End of Flashback*_

"Ah, yes, the most learned and brilliant person who I have ever mentored, the great Franken Stein!" Radko blurted.

Spirit was devastated at that statement, because Radko seemed to have forgotten that he mentored him, as well…

Bottling up his frustration and anguish, Spirit responded, "Anyways, you're here for that job opening, right?"

"Of course I am, komrade." Radko replied.

"Well, you're probably the best person for the job. Our meisters are severely lacking in the high-school level mathematics field, so we need someone to teach them _pronto_." Spirit said.

Apparently, Black Star had just happened to walk by Spirit as he said this, and almost fainted- "They want to teach us MATH? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"

Black Star was then given a random Maka Chop courtesy of the girl herself for being so obnoxious.

"Black Star, do you have to be so freakin' loud when you blurt things out randomly? Still though, what are those two talking about?"

**~Author's Notes~**

**Yeah, another chapter done! By now, I think that most people can visualize the horror of trying to teach trigonometry and pre-calculus to meisters… muahahaha… XD**

***Note: Systema is a Russian martial art which utilizes breathing and flowing, controlled movements**


	3. Chapter 3: Alcohol and a Folk Song

Later that afternoon, Stein was quickly treated for a concussion from the impact of the magnet, and was informed that Radko had come to the DWMA. Spirit had invited them to the cabaret club for a few drinks, but Radko insisted on them indulging on the liquor that he had brought himself- Slivovitz, assorted Vodka, Bourbon, Scotch, and Beer. (Radko always came prepared!) The three of them sat on a rock near Radko's parked car, while Radko was unpacking the assorted alcohol.

"Dr. Maslov, it's quite an honor to have you here. You don't look like you've aged one bit in the last ten years." said Stein.

"Heh, you can me Radko, Stein. You're not in college anymore. Besides, I'm going to be teaching here soon, so I want everyone to get to know me."

"Well, you're going to have to get to know my students, as well. I assume that they've learned basic functions and geometry, because some of those are required for the material that I regularly teach here."

"I hope so… advanced trigonometry and pre-calculus require dedication and sufficient prior knowledge. I don't want to try to teach a class that can't even solve a quadratic equation. Oh, what the hell, I shouldn't worry about that now, let's drink!"

Radko took out a bottle of vodka and a tomato, and took a good swig of the 40% alcohol-by-volume liquid.

"Aughhh, that's the stuff. Goes down like water. Just what I need after a day like this. Here, Stein, have some Slivovitz, it'll loosen ya up a bit."

"No thanks, I think I'll stick to the beer. My tolerance is pretty low."

Just then, Spirit interjected- "Aw, live it up a bit, Stein! You must be tired from all the work you've been doing. Here, I'll pour you a glass-"

Spirit poured Stein an obnoxiously large amount of Slivovitz in his beer glass, which Stein was shocked to see.

"What proof is this stuff?" asked Stein.

"Don't worry about it, it's unlike anything you've had before. Have a taste." replied Radko.

Stein took a sip of the clear alcoholic beverage, which tasted quite interesting, indeed, as it slid over his taste buds.

"Hmm… quite interesting, indeed. In fact, I think I really like this stuff." said Stein.

Radko smiled, and said "Certainly! I knew you would like it, it is probably my second favorite drink next to vodka."

Spirit poured himself a large amount of bourbon, and drank it down like it was nothing, to Stein's horror. (Radko had seen MUCH worse on a daily basis in Russia…)

And so, the alcoholic drinks kept being poured and stories shared for another 15 minutes until…

*_15 minutes later_*

Stein was _really_ drunk, and he started to pick up rocks in his woozy state and fling them in random directions- "*Hic* you damn… witches… ahgh... *hic* damn you, Black Star, put that eraser… *hic* down…"

Spirit merely laughed at his friend's drunken state, but he himself was pretty much spent. He stumbled a bit, but Radko put his arm around his shoulders and started to sing a Russian folk song in his own plastered state- "Oy, moroz, moroz" (Oh, frost, frost) (not a very suitable song for the desert they were in at the time, but Radko was too damn drunk to care).

_Oy moroz moroz nye moroz menya_

_Nye moroz menya moyego konya (x2)_

_Moyego konya belogrivogo_

_U menya zhena okh revnivaya (x2)_

_U menya zhena ohk krasavitsa_

_Zhyot menya domoy zhyot pechalitsya_

_Ya vernus domoy na zakate dnya_

_Obnimu zhenu napoyu konya (x2) _

_Oy moroz moroz nye moroz menya_

_Ne moroz menya moyego konya (x2)_

Radko then slumped down on a rock, took a healthy bite out of the tomato in his hand, and within ten minutes, was sober enough to call a cab to take the smashed Stein and Spirit back to their houses. He then found a conveniently located motel near the cabaret club, and paid for a one-bed, one-night room.

*"Akh, kakaya noch…" he said as he drifted off into a slumber.

**I had fun writing this chapter, and I hope people enjoy it! I plan to include Radko applying for the teaching job in the next chapter.**

***"Akh, kakaya noch" means "Oh, what a night"**


End file.
